It all started six years ago. My wife was pregnant with our first child. I remember how excited my mother was to have grandchildren from her son. But during a conversation with my pregnant wife then,my wife mentioned that she was going to give birth through caesarian birth.
My mother belongs to a church where she has been a mother in Zion for more than 30 years and that church is totally against giving birth by CS. They preach that women should give birth like the Hebrew women. So when my wife mentioned her intentions to give birth through CS,my mother was totally against it.
My wife did not present it well …in my opinion. There was no need for her to mention how she was having her baby to my mother. In her defense, she said she never knew my mom would object. And that frankly speaking, its not my mother’s business how she gives birth.
My mother did not take kindly to that as she said my wife does not respect her opinion. That she has been fasting and praying for my wife to give birth without CS. My wife took it in another way…she actually said some things like: why would my mother insist on natural birth…that maybe my mother wanted her to die giving birth.
Both women became suspicious of each other and I tried my best to stay out of their wahala. My mother said all kinds of things to my wife and my wife too said some things. I cautioned my wife but she accused me of taking sides with my mother, so I tried to stay out of it.
However, when my wife gave birth…through CS of course, my mother never called to congratulate us and has never acknowledged my wife or my children since then. My wife gave birth to our second and third child through CS. And my mother has never said a word to my wife and my wife after trying to talk to my mother without success…finally gave up.
So its been six years. I call my mother but she does not want to talk about my children. She does not want to see them. That breaks my heart and I was even angry with her for taking this too far but I miss my mother and I wish this nonsense can be resolved.
I spoke to other family members. They have advised that we be patient with Mama. That with time, she will come to accept my children. I know she is old school and her kind of Christianity is a bit odd but she is my mother and I wish for her to be grandma to my children…the way she is to my sisters children.
Do you know that my mother has sworn never to accept my children or my wife? What else should I do? Its been six years…is this how it will be for the rest of our lives? I have tried to bring the children to visit her but soon as she saw us, she got up and left. I was upset. I even began to think that there was more to this.
Before my wife got pregnant…she never had issues with me or my wife. Its very hard to process that she has rejected my children cos of her spiritual beliefs. Maybe also cos my wife and her disagreed. She told everyone that my wife disrespected her and called her a witch.
My wife never called her a witch but she was unhappy that Mama insisted on natural birth and she mentioned that Mama may have ulterior motives for that. Women…why cant things be simple between them? These two women mean the whole world to me…how do I get them to reconcile and how do I get my mother to accept my children?
Four months ago, I succeeded in begging my wife to beg mama. She did again but my Mama is as stubborn as a mule. Mama insulted my wife and now my wife has said she will not try anymore. What do I do….please advise me.