Written by Counselor Adofoli
We need people who are mature to get into marriage. People who know what they are doing, who have a better knowledge about relationships.
As a matter of fact, it's difficult trying to communicate with someone who does not speak your language or does not understand it, but that is understandable. It is very frustrating when you speak the same language with the person, you seem to be in the same age or level in life but the person fails to understand you. All because he or she is not willing to understand. They act like kids who want their way.
What seems simple to you rather seems complex to the other person. What you call no issue, he or she makes a mountain out of it. They see you as the problem, yet they don't want to let you go but fail to understand you. Always fighting over nothing. They fail to understand you have no relationship.
When you make a simple mistake in the relationship, instead of them to correct you, to let you know what you did wrong, how they feel about that or look for a better way to resolve the issue, they rather go on hibernation. They suddenly stop calling you. When you call them, they choose to pick when they want. When they finally pick the call, they show you attitude on the phone as if it was a crime to call to check on them or care for them.
Making their partner confused and worried for nothing, all in an attempt to find out their sudden change but which falls on deaf ears. Their poor partner who does not know what is going on with them or does not understand what is happening becomes depressed, sending them apology over apology for a crime they have no idea of. They do that because of the change in behaviour of their partner towards them.
Meanwhile, when they are at fault or do something wrong and their partner draws their attention to it, they refuse to accept it and blame their partner for nagging or complaining too much. The feeling of the one they claim to love does not matter to them. What matters to them is their needs and benefit or interest in the relationship.
It's really stressful being in a relationship with such a person. If you are in a relationship with someone like that, I am here to tell you, you are with a very immature person. You only subject yourself to torture in the name of a relationship. Such a relationship lacks, growth, love and is rather full of foolishness and drama. If you don't like what is going on, then take the needed steps to end the relationship.
People like that do not only fail to listen to you or understand you but they also think they know you more than you know yourself. They tell you what they think is good for you without caring about your feelings. They take decisions for you without seeking your concern.
When you tell them the truth, they rather doubt you and are willing to believe lies because of what they imagine or have in their head about you. They want to see you always, if you cannot see them for one or two reasons, they doubt your love for them. The truth is, you don't need to see people 24/7 to prove they love you, after all your love is not in sight but in the heart.
The proof of love is felt more when your partner is not with you. And because love is in the heart, that is why the heart grows fonder in the absence of one's loved one. It is rather unfortunate that an immature person does not understand this and will create drama when their partner cannot see them always.
In conclusion, "Brothers and sisters, don’t think like children. In evil things be like babies, but in your thinking you should be like full-grown adults" - 1 Corinthians 14:20 (ERV).
© Frank Edem Adofoli